


The Reason I Hold On

by idra



Series: 30 Days of Fic (June 2017) [11]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, M/M, Song fic (sort of), mention of a panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 02:01:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11174688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idra/pseuds/idra
Summary: Robert is there when Chris needs help and Chris wants Robert to stay.





	The Reason I Hold On

**Author's Note:**

> Day Eleven - song (with [youtube link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF8BRvqGCNs)) - Stay by Rihanna f. Mikky Ekko
> 
> The panic attack that is warned for in the tags happens before the fic starts and only the aftermath is dealt with.

Robert approaches Chris’ trailer, knocking on the door. When he doesn’t hear anything inside, he opens the door because he knows Chris is in here. No one has seen Chris for hours, even though he was supposed to be on set first thing in the morning. “Chris? Chrissy?” he says it softly, worried about his friend. 

“Go ‘way,” is mumbled from near the floor and Robert raises an eyebrow, squatting down and peering under the table. Sure enough, Chris is curled up in a ball in sweats and a tank top, as far under the table as he could possibly be. “Go ‘way,” he repeats and Robert groans before he crawls under the table with Chris. He reaches over and squeezes Chris’ knee, easily recognizing that Chris is having a panic attack. 

“Not gonna go away, Chris. We don’t have to talk, but I’m not going away.” Robert tries to get closer, flinching when he bashes his knee on the center post of the table. “Fuck, fucking, fuck,” he snarls out, rubbing at his knee. He raises an eyebrow when Chris giggles. “You think it’s funny that I injured myself?” 

“No. Sorry,” Chris says softly, curling up tighter. He takes a breath and Robert listens to it move easier through Chris. “I... Shit. Rob...”

“You don’t have to talk about. I just need to know if you’re okay.”

“I don’t even know what happened,” Chris says, his body slumping a little. 

“Okay. Come on. Let’s get out from under the table,” he says, crawling out and swearing again when he bumps his head. “Jesus. Your table is out for my blood, Chris.”

Chris gives a watery chuckle and slides out from under the table with no problems. “Sorry,” he says again, sniffling a little.

“Stop apologizing, Chris. You had a panic attack. It happens.” Robert leads Chris into the bedroom and pushes him onto the bed. “Lay down. I’m going to call everyone and tell them you are taking a couple of days.” 

“No, we can’t push back the shoot,” Chris says, sitting up.

Robert pushes him down, climbing on top of Chris, pinning him down. “Stay!” When Chris leans back, brow wrinkling up at Robert, Robert smiles and pats Chris’ head. “Good boy.” He pulls out his phone, sitting back. He lifts up almost immediately when Chris whimpers a little. “Sorry.” He settles next to Chris, dialing the producers first. He gets through most of the important people, finally dialing Scarlett’s number. “Hey Scarlett. I’m with Chris. He had a panic attack. Bad one, judging by the fact that he’s passed out now. Shoot’s cancelled for him for at least two days. I don’t care what anyone says.” 

“No, that’s fine. I’ll make sure you can be with him,” she says. “You just take care of him for us, Bobby.” 

“Thanks, Scar.” Robert hangs up after he says goodbye and he looks down at Chris, smiling softly. A huge part of him wants to just lay down next to Chris and snuggle up, but their relationship isn’t like that. So after he brushes Chris’ hair off his forehead, he slides out of bed and starts for the door. 

“Stay,” Chris mumbles, and Robert turns back, surprised to see Chris is awake. Barely, but definitely awake. “Please, Rob? I want you to stay.” He licks his lips and looks away. “Never mind. I... never mind. I’m fine.” 

Robert doesn’t even debate with himself before he’s kicking off his shoes and digging through drawers. He pulls out a pair of basketball shorts that he’s sure will be too big and a t-shirt that’s buttery soft from age. He changes quickly, not even leaving the room, even though he knows Chris is watching his every move. He climbs into the bed and freezes when Chris immediately curls around him, burying his face against Robert’s neck. “Thank you,” Chris mumbles. It’s the last words Chris says before he falls asleep. Robert stays there, stroking a hand along Chris’ back until he too falls asleep. 

When he wakes up, it’s to Chris jerking away from him. “Whoa. Whoa. Relax,” he says, blinking his eyes open as he looks around the small bedroom of Chris’ trailer. “What’s wrong?” 

“Oh God Rob, I’m so sorry.” 

“For what?” Robert asks, scratching at his belly.

“I shouldn’t have asked you to stay,” Chris says, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“I was happy to do it.” Robert stretches, then reaches over and strokes Chris’ back. “It’s okay, Chris, really.” 

“But I... I’m sorry.” 

“For what, Chris? I wanted to stay, or I wouldn’t have.”

“For how we woke up!” Chris snaps.

“Uh, I woke up when you jerked away from me. I don’t know how you woke up.” Robert looks over at Chris’ back, then down at himself. He raises an eyebrow, not surprised he’s got an erection, considering he’d had Chris in his arms. “Ah... Sorry. Sorry if you’re upset about me being hard. You think you’d know that it happens to guys, even old guys like me.” 

Chris jerks around, staring at Robert. “You’re...” His shoulders slump. “Right. Just something that happens.”

Robert frowns then licks his lips, taking a chance. “If I’d known I affected you that way, I would’ve slept with you sooner.” 

“What?” Chris stares at him. 

“Chris, do I have to spell it out?” 

“Yes, you do.” 

Robert chuckles and pulls Chris back into the bed. “I have wanted you for a long time, but I didn’t think you were into guys.”

“I... I’m not.” Chris looks down then back up, cheeks flushed. “I’m into you. You’re the first and only guy I’ve ever had these feelings for.”

Robert nods, licking his lips. He’ll have to go slow and take it easy, but he’s willing to do what he has to in order to make Chris comfortable. He leans in, and finds Chris is leaning back. He lifts his hands cupping Chris’ face between his palms as he kisses the younger man. He’s not sure what triggered the panic attack earlier but they’ll get to that later. Right now, he just wants to enjoy their first kiss.


End file.
